Miles To Go
by xmisscherie
Summary: The story is basically about Mark & Lexie .  All this takes place about 2 weeks after the shooting , Lexie just had her breakdown & also broke up with Alex.  I don't own anything! & please write some reviews. that would make my day
1. Crying your heart out

The story is basically about Mark & Lexie .

All this takes place about 2 weeks after the shooting , Lexie just had her breakdown & also broke up with Alex.

The first chapter won't be that long, I just wanna see if you guys like my story ( & my way of writing)

**I don't own anything**

1 Chapter

It was short after the sunset glow. This day it hadn't started to rain once, what's really a rarity here in Seattle.

Lexie Grey looked out of the window of Merediths car. Lexie was allowed to go home now after Mark commited her to psych , she had to stay there 3 days. She slept all three days with the result that she was amazingly better now. If Mark sat beside her bed she didn't knew, she'll need to ask Mer about that later.

So Mer took her home after working at the hospital, what's kinda boring now cause half of the doctors or surgents weren't alowed to enter a OR. There was this guy who had to clear everyone for surgery, and he hadn't cleared Mer yet wha Lexie had to hear the whole drive home now. Lexie had to sepnd the next few days at home or somewhere , she wasn't allowed to work at all yet. Well, never mind.

When they fianlly arrived at Mers house Lexie jumped out of the car, grapped her bag and thanked Mer. She ran to the house, opened the door, ran up the stairs, found her room , smashed her bag somewhere, lay down on her bed and started to cry.

She didn't stop crying till it was deep drak outside.

She heard Meredith or Derek or someone else passing her door from time to time, but the door never opened. They let Lexie alone in the dark, crying her heart out. But Lexie was glad they did. She didn't want to speak to anyone. Except Mark. But he didn't come.

It was about 03:00 am in the morning when Lexie got up from her bed again. It was dark everywhere in the room but she didn't need light anyway.

She had cried all the time because of the shooting, and Alex but mainly she cried because of her lost love. Because of Mark. She knew he carred about her and maybe even loved her. And she loved him to, but what about all the differences between them, and what about all the reason that brought them where they are now. Both alone and unhappy.

Now Lexie was thinking about possibilities. What would happen if she and Mark would be back together ? What would have happend if she hadn't break up with Alex?

What if she and Mark will now be apart for_ever_.

That again was too much to bear. Lexie got back in bed and crawled underneath her blanket and while she was wondering what Mark was doing at the moment,she missed him more than ever before.


	2. Surprise,Surprise

The next time Lexie opened her eyes it was daytime. But that didn't mean it was dark. It was dark. That kind of dark it is when it rains and when it is cold all day. Searching for her watch she realized she didn't even had to know what time it was. She had no where to be anyway.

So she stayed about 20 more minutes in her warm bed, before she got up, went to the bath room and took a long warm shower. That always relaxed her, even though the times when Mark was with her in the shower too, it was way more ...''Stop it! Stop thinking about him. It's not like he was my life. I had a life before him, and I will have one after him!'' Lexie thought ,but she knew that it wasn't true. Of course she had a life before Mark, but now having a life without him seems impossible. She didn't even want to try. So she got out of the shower, dried her hair, put on some jeans and an old Harvard sweater and went down stairs. Hoping that there would be someone she could talk to. When Lexie entered the Citchen she first noticed a little note Meredith had left her. It simply said : Lex, I'm glad ur back home. Derek & I are at work. We'll be home for dinner.

Okay, so she had no one to talk to. Never mind. Lexie made herself breakfast that she didn't eat because she realized, after making it, that she wasn't hungry.

And what now? The microwave watch told Lexie it was 01:00 p.m. . It was a Monday so everyone Lexie knew was at work now. Great. What Lexie didn't need was even more time for herself. She wanted to go to the hospital. She wanted to work, or to do anything. Doing nothing was awful, because now she had to think of all the things she just wanted to forget. Looking outside the window Lexie perceived that it really rained. It seemed like it had rained all day and wouldn't stop to soon. Lexie comforted herself on the couch in Merediths and Dereks living room. More and more she had the feeling she didn't belong here anyway. That was Merediths and Dereks home. They were married and lived their life together. Okay, alex lived here to but he spent every second at the hospital. Suddenly the door bell rang. Having no idea of who that would be Lexie opened the door, half hoping it would be Mark, but knowing it couldn't be him.

When Lexie looked up she was looking into big, bright, worried green eyes.

Into Izzies eyes.


	3. Starting all over again

Starting all over again

When Lexie first saw Izzie she was shocked. What was she doing here? Was she back? What the fuck? But Lexie knew, by the exprescion on Izzies face, that she was back, and ready to stay. ''Lexie. Umm, can I come in?'' Izzie asked.

''Yeah sure, oh my god, Izzie are you back?'' Lexie couldn't help herself to ask even if she already knew the answer.

''Yeah, I think I'm back, well I, look, Lexie, it's good I met u first because I need to talk to you, I think we need to talk before I talk to A...'' Izzie said but Lexie just interrupted her and said ''We're gonna come in first. Want a tea, or coffee or soemthing else?''

''Coffee, please'' Izzie said. Lexie hurried into the citchen to make two cups of coffee, while Izzie took place at the couch where Lexie just lay and wanted someone to talk too.

When Lexie came back with their coffee, she was kinda nervous, but glad she had someone to talk too. Finally. Even though the topic of their talking wouldn't be her favourite.

Lexie handed Izzie her cup and gave her a sign to start talking.

''Well Lexie, I always liked you. You are a sweet,caring, beautiful person and I don't wanna hurt or offend you. When I left, I left because I didn't believe that Alex really loved me. I spent the months I was gone at my sisters, at New York. When I heard of the shooting I immidiately called Meredith. She told me everything that happend. She also told me that you and Mark Sloan saved my husba... Alex from dieing alone in an elevator. And she told me that you and Alex broke up short after the shooting. And Lexie, you need to know that I love. I still do and always will. Now please tell me your feelings for him, because I planned on fighting for him, just getting him back somehow.'' Izzie started to cry. Lexie was near of crying to, slowly she started talking.

''Izz, Alex and I, we've never been a thing. We tried to make it serious and grown up and all relationship like. But it didn't work. We both are in love with someone else. And Izzie, what Meredith doesn't know, what only Mark and I know, is that, when Mark and I were saving Alex, he called out for you. He loves you and he wants you back for sure. My feelings for him are simple. He was a friend before. Then he was a sex friend. And now, well , I'm pretty pissed at him actually cause, I'm sorry to say that, he is a jerk, and even if he didn't love me, he let me down after I saved him. He thinks he's all badass, well he's not. I'm just angry at him. Nothing more. My heart is somewhere else. And I really want you and him to be happy. Even if he doesn't deserve you at all.''

''Thank you Lexie. I'm glad you don't love Alex, it would have been even more compicated can I ask you one more, very personal thing?'' Izzie said.

''Go ahead'' Lexie said.

''The guy you love, it is Mark right?'' Yeah your damn right Lexie thought. She knew she loved Mark. She always did and ever will. She didn't want to waste her time anymore. She knew she wanted him back, the only reason she didn't tell him she wanted hi, was that she was afraid he didn't love her. But he told her he did love her. And if that was really true, they deserved another chance. Lexie didn't want to lie to herself or to anyone else anymore. She knew Izzie was right. She just loved Mark, no matter what happend. And their reason why they broke up aren't reasosn anymore. So she could at least try. If he would have to fight for him, and their love she would. If she looses, it will breaak her aching heart even more, but at least she knew she tried.

Lexie felt that all new thirst for action happening to her. She nearly forgot Izzie was there.

''Yeah. It is Mark. And I want him back. I really do. And I'm ready to fight.'' Lexie finally answered Izzies question.

''And I will tell him, that I love him. Today. But before I'll do that. And even before you go and get your Alex back. I need you to do a favour for ya?'' Lexie asked.

''Sure what is it? '' Izzie said.

''I wanna be Lexie again, Marks Lexie, I want to be myself again. To be honest, I hate change, Change is barely good. There's this one thing, I need to change back, and I know it doesn't really matter, but to me it is important.'' Lexie said.

''Gosh, Lex what is it!'' Izzie said.

''I just wanna die my hair back, I wanna be a brunette again.''

Izzie just starred at Lexie for a few seconds. Then the two women burst out into laugthers and were happy again. And even if they hadn't figured it out yet, that was the beginning of a huge, powerful, neverending friendship.


	4. Sleepless in Seattle

Meanwhile :

Mark Sloan was busy walking around in his flat, in downtown Seattle, near the hospital.

After the shooting everything changed. For him. And for everyone else. But he made his desicion. He knew what he wanted and he knew that even before the shooting.

The only thing he wanted, was Lexie. She was the only one he would ever want to be with.

He made many mistakes in his lifes. Everyone did that.

Most of the time his mistakes didn't matter to him. He never cared about anyone beside himself. Maybe about Derek and Addison, and his family but that was all.

But then he met Lexie. She striped like a bright shining shooting star over his own always dark sky.

When he first lost her he thought it wasn't a problem. He had Sloan and he was about to be a grandfather. But he lost Sloan & the Baby too. Then he started to sleep around again, just to not to think about Lexie. Then there was Teddy. The sex with her was good. Not comparable with what he and Lexie had, but still good. But he didn't feel anything towards her. He didn't care if she was here or not. She didn't make him feel. Anything. She didn't even make him smile.

When he finally let his feelings out and he realized he wanted Lexie back, and only Lexie, it was too late, he thought. She seemed to move on with Karev. Even though Lexie and Karev broke up now, she wasn't ready for something new. Maybe she will never be ready. Or maybe she'll just never be ready for _him. _

Mark knew what he had to do. He wouldn't urge her into something she didn't want.

When he first got to Seattle it was because of Derek. He wanted his best friend back. And he wanted a change, he was sick of New York.

The few years he spent in Seattle so much things happend.

He and Derek were best friends again, after all. He didn't get to job as chief. He found a new friends in Callie. He met Lexie, who changed _everything_. He met his daugther. There was a shooting.

He really lived here. He lived his life in Seattle.

But maybe, just maybe his time in Seattle just ran out.

Maybe he should go back to New York.

He was pretty sure that Lexie would never take him back. And he just wanted her to be happy.

He was well aware of the knowing that Lexie was his 'other part'. She was the love of his life.

He knew that.

But he might just had to let her go.

There would be a great, carying, normal guy for Lexie.

She was pretty, clever, smart and normal ( as normal can be ).

She would be happy. She would be without him, but she would be happy.

And he, he would just live his life, till it ends.

But it didn't matter what will happen to him.

If only Lexie would be happy.


	5. We Can't Stop The World

Lexie was struggling with fear and thos nervous feeling, you feel when you are totally excited about something. She was standing in front of Mark Sloan Appartment door, ready to tell him she loved him. But she was afraid that she was too late, and she was afraid he didn't want her anymore. But she told herself to be strong ans show some curage.

She was about to raise her hand, to knock on the door, when suddenly, the door of Callies appartment opened.

Callie was weeping and crying. And Mark stood beside her. Holding Callies hand, Mark said '' Cal, I'm sorry, I gotta do that, y'know, I just …''. Then he saw Lexie standing there. With her hair brown again. She looked like she used. ''Lex...'' was all he said. Callie still weeping, turned ourand, shut her door and left Mark and Lexie alone.

''Mark'', Lexie started ''I gotta talk to you. It's important. Really.''

Mark put out a key, opened his appartment door and let Lexie in. ''Go ahead'' he said.

When she walked in his appartment, all the memories came back. It felt different to be here now.

She was afraid that he would sent her away.

Again she took all she had together and started explain '' Mark , I don't know how to start this. Everything went wrong. From the moment we broke up till now. The thing with Alex, and the shooting. It was so much, and I made a mess out of trying to handle it. Infact I would not have been able to handle it without you. And then I had this breakdown and you made sure I'm fine. And I pushed you away. I didn't meant to, really. After all I just, I broke up with Alex, Mark. When I said I loved him, I thought he would die, because of me. Because I helped killing Gary Clarks wife. Damn.''

''Lexie'' Mark started but she interrupted him immediately,

''No, please listen to me. I, I'm a fool. And an I don't even deserve you, but I want you. Just you, and not Alex. Mark, I love you. And now I'm asking _you ,_can you give me, us another chance? I really hope you can because I really don't wanna live without you anymore.'' There wasn't anything more to say. Lexie said it. The only thing he wanted her to tell him.

That she loved him.

It took everything about a second till she was in his arms and his lips were on her lips.

And the world, seemed to spin around again, finally.


End file.
